CRANES (And look how beautiful the Frost Building is)

Austin, Texas is something else. I tell you what. It’s an oasis of indie film and music and technology companies in the middle of shotguns and cow poo. It has the freedom of hipster youth without being annoying. The hipsters are nicer as well. If you’ve ever seen Richard Linklater‘s Slacker then you know the kind of hip-star I’m talking about.

Austin - Kyle and Will

Scientific Swag

I met my friend Will (who I assisted in launching RepAssured earlier this year) here for South by Southwest (SXSW), a mega-festival containing a music festival, film festival, and interactive conference. He came from Tampa, FL on the Startup Bus. It’s a 72 hour business competition. You get on a bus, form a team, and prepare to pitch your business venture capitalists. I went with him last year and it was a great time. It’s amazing how much a small group of focused people can accomplish under extreme time constraints. It’s Parkinson’s Law in action:

Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.

Anybody who has ever ‘waited until the last minute’ has discovered they can do pretty much anything inside that minute. I’m in the middle of this roadtripping adventure so I was ‘Groupie Kyle’.

Sitting on our lofty dining roost

This year Will & Co. got runner up. Second place out of sixty groups of ‘buspreneurs’. That’s a ‘fuck yeah!’ situation. The victory has been compared to getting an MBA from Harvard. Congratulations to some cool cats! The company is BumperCrop, check it out.

Then we went for some adventures. The first thing we noticed: hippie ‘homeless’ kids have taken the place of gangs in other cities. Or that’s what it seemed like anyway. Groups of dirty, happy, guitar-playing hippies on every corner. They weren’t sad. They smiled and danced and played with their dogs. Maybe they were kids experimenting in homelessness, I don’t know.

Walking down the street, harassing some kids that were blacked out from taking in too much rotten fruit, we heard a marching band. But it was more like swing music, Will informed me, than marching music. So we followed the sounds. And found a circle of people watching eight people on their marching band instruments. Tuba and drum and some other horns. People were flooding out of the surrounding bars to witness this thing. At first there was just one of the happy hippie kids kicking around in the middle of a big circle. He was quickly surrounded on all sides by people who were going crazy for this hip’n'happening marching band.

So hot right now

Second thing we noticed: cranes. Shit’s being built in Austin. When shit goes down on the coasts people flock to Austin. You can live much more cheaply in Austin than in California or New York or Florida. This is the same effect that sends money managers from New York to Buenos Aires. “I lost all my money! What can I do now!?” “Just move to a cool cheap place.” “By golly!”  Long time locals are getting a little pissed because the cost of living is raising (supply and demand!) but I just say, “You got cranes, bitch!”

There is a huge effort to keep the small town weirdness. Local businesses have created the wildly popular Keep Austin Weird campaign. It has a lot to teach groups of local businesses that are scared of Big Guys moving in.

NYC's Naked Cowboy made the trip. THAT's how important SXSW is.

The Interactive festival was full of Mark Zuckerberg lookalikes. A bunch of people dressed meticulously sloppy. Tech folk don’t just have the opportunity to dress comfortably; it’s now mandatory uniform. I should also mention the festival is full of genius. Walking down Austin’s famous 6th Street is a beautiful thing during Interactive. Geeks and nerds and business folk and every mixing and mashing of those imaginable. All smart, all interesting. Not all, that’s a lie, but A LOT. There is a noticeable drop in IQ when the interactive folk go home to make room for the Music crowd. On the other hand, the amount of lady-belly-booby increases as much. Fair trade I guess.

There is also a lot of cool advertising experimentation happening. Like mini-blimps.

During Interactive everyone is selling his or her wares. Talking about current or future projects. Mashing ideas together. Every year there are a million new apps revolving around some new hot idea. This year everyone wanted to dominate some hyper-local-social-couponing-eventing thing or another. And it’s fun to watch, because companies that had a huge presence this year may be gone tomorrow. The winner will have pushed the others out.

The start-up community catches a lot of shit because there is so much mixing and matching of apps. Basically take an app, add a feature, and you got a business! That’s how winners are made though. Whoever makes the right mix in the right way and gets it to the right people. It’s this kind of mass-experimentation that is increasing the number of Black Swan events.

The next day was one of bats and Beatles. There are a million and a half bats that live under some Austin bridge for a few months a year. We saw them fly away. As they exited their bridge, I heard some guy comparing them to some string theory thing. Which I could see a little bit. Maybe that was the smartest thing I heard in Austin. Maybe it was the dumbest.

1.5 million? Not quite... but that's still a lot of dots!

After this beautiful show, we saw The Beatles – LIVE! Apparently they’ve changed their band name to The Eggmen. Some stunt like Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band or something. Great show. The music really took me to a magical place. Whisked me away. Sent me to the stars.

great show guys!”]

"The Eggmen"[ ;)

Austin is interesting because it’s a prime contender for medical marijuana but it’s in the center of the Lone Star State so it has no chance. To declare their Marijuana-ness they fly their flag proudly on the most beautiful building in town.

I'm pretty sure it was actually Bob Marley's Birthday...

I hung out with Will in Austin for maybe four days. In that time we became regulars at a Piano Bar named Pete’s. The piano players knew us, the bartenders had our drinks ready when we got there, the crowd cheered us when we entered. We became fixtures of the establishment in three nights!

The only picture I took at Pete's. The hotdog was at least 6 inches lower at some points. There is no explanation.

But that’s not true at all. One of the waitresses was hot for one – or both! – of us. She came and made out with me on her night off (but that’s also a lie). Dueling piano bars are awesome. The piano singy-songiness of the places leaves no room for the standard douchebaggery of places like Push. Oh yeah, Push is the only bar on 6th Street created in the South Beach style. It has a sister store across the street called Status. You can pick up whatever has replaced Ed Hardy there.

This guy is on Twitter, he said.

Here’s a stupid thing we all do: only go see shit in towns we visit. My cousin has lived in Austin for eight years now and hasn’t seen a bunch of the stuff I saw while I was there. I’ve lived in Florida my whole life and never gone into the Everglades. Driving down Alligator Alley isn’t seeing them. I lived on a horse ranch for ten years and didn’t ride for five or six of them. The grass is greener. That other girl is cooler. That other country is just so exotic. Until you get there. We kill the grass we stand on. Anyway, I saw a bunch of fun things in Austin.

Next time: The Austin experience sans-SXSW and BABIES. Oh so much BABIES!

Sneak Preview:

BABYBABYBABYBABY

My 10 step program will free you from the tyranny of the burrito!

I am a Chipotle Expert. I was once interviewed by FOX News and in the corner of the screen it said, “Kyle Eschenroeder”. Then it said, “Chipotle Expert”. I swear to God. I’ve spent a good portion of my life mastering the Chipotle Order.

Joseph Campbell said that the hero’s journey must include bringing it all home. Without that it’s incomplete. So I stand before you as your Chipotle Hero. I have gone through the trenches and done my worst to get a big-ass bowl of food. The dragons have been confronted, the dark nights illuminated, the reflections reflected. I present to you, the Sacred Secrets of Ordering Chipotle.

The journey to the ultimate SALAD (!?)

  1. Smile. Don’t walk up to the Counter of Dreams pouting at the being who is going dish up your dish. If you have breasteses, display them graciously.
  2. Get a SALAD. Don’t let the fools make you feel like a pussy for saying the word ‘salad’. Science shows us that Chipotle Salads are the heaviest food items available. If you want a tortilla then ask – they’ll give you TWO. And get the dressing. It’s delicious.
  3. Brown rice. No trick, it’s just better for you than that nasty white shit. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s spooky to think of the worlds other people live in. Like those people scream at Justin Biebler. Or the ice cream man who smiles too big. Or the weirdo who wrote this shit. Or the psychotic. Your autistic cousin. An infant. Usually they scare me because they deny reason. They refuse to believe things demonstrated for them.

Mr Justin Biebler. (I'm just jealous BTW envy-ho!)


It’s easier to believe in unbelievable things when other people do. Or when an authority/expert tells you too. How else could we believe that a former Professor of Constitutional Law could pass the NDAA?

Sometimes it’s nice to read a very old book. Because if it’s old enough and the authors are dead enough then they got to be right! Some Muslims believe that they need to kill everyone else in order to go to heaven and take 72 of their chosen ones with them. It’s even more spooky, at least one more unit of spook, to think that they think I’m crazy for not thinking that. Anyone we could talk to would agree that it’s just absurd to think that you can go to heaven and take 72 people with you if you murder a bunch of people and yourself.
Read the rest of this entry »

pshh

said something. Quotes are powerful because they connect us to the myth of a person. Consider:

“The best way to help mankind is through the perfection of yourself.” – Lord Krishna

That was about three thousand years before Jesus. Then Gandhi comes along and says
“Be the change you want to see in the world” a few years ago. Nobody gives a shit what Krishna said, or even know anything about him. But we can connect with Gandhi. We know he wore diaper-esque things and he used civil disobedience to do something memorable.

Can't get there from here

You can find a quote from any person to support any topic. Every great quote has it’s antithesis. But knowing this, it’s not bad to hold onto a quote and the ‘god’ who it’s attributed to. It can drive us to do the things we need to do. However, we should be aware that quotes often aren’t the universal truths they seem to be. And they people that wrote them aren’t the ‘gods’ they seem to be. It’s good to hold that ideal in our minds because it can drive us to experience our life in a more real way.

I’m the worst when it comes to quoting.

There is a popular notion that we are given life. So we’re born with a debt. This goes beyond the Catholic idea of original sin. We aren’t given life. We are life. There is no ultimate obligation. You will go around lifeing until the day you die. And you can’t be separate from that life.

“This is your life, you only get it once, use it up!” But I’m not separate for my life, so I can’t have it in the way that I can have a girlfriend or a car. You are not some ego that has attached itself to a life. Your ego is a piece of life. Your thoughts and actions and feelings are all pieces of the life that is you.

When we understand this, we can stop dividing our beings. We can stop pitting our Self against our Self and creating false divisions. We can achieve the fluidity that is life naturally. The fluidity that can’t be stopped or grasped. Understanding that we are life means understanding that we are just as much death. We, Life, spawned from Death and will return when we’re done lifeing.

When we understand that we are life then we know that death is nothing.

Here’s an experiment to do. It was fun for me. Maybe you hate it.

Kill your dream.

Maybe not forever, but just for right now. There’s a good chance your dream is poisoning your food and tripping you when you’re not looking. Dreams are sneaky bastards that won’t be any fun if we blindly adopt them. Not that you shouldn’t ‘go for it’, it’s just that the ‘it’ is usually not IT.

I know this sounds dumb. Having a Dream is part of the American Religion. But so was having a house, going to college, and having sexuals with Angelina Jolie. Killing your dream will give you a second to actually look at it and decide if it’s for you. Are you chasing it just to chase something? Are you having fun chasing it? If you’re right on track then tallyho. Either way, I think anyone can benefit from killing their dream (or their perceived need to have one) for a minute at least.

People talk about chasing dreams. But I’d rather have a dream I can live. Human nature is to grow. When you achieve your dream of being on American Idol, then you’ll want to win, then you’ll want to punch Kelly Clarkson in the boob, then eventually you’ll get sick of all the paparazzi. What I’m saying, really, is that chasing dreams will almost always result in a life of chasing X and not knowing why you were chasing it.

It’s interesting how we all have the same dreams. I want to be famous or rich or powerful. We want to be a rock star, climb corporate ladders, be a star. Because of social pressures and other forces we’ve created a situation in which it seems everyone is going for the same thing. These dreams of fame and fortune – always skipping the work – may serve to inspire us for a limited amount of time but then they don’t. Then they turn on us and stab us in the back and retroactively destroy our childhoods and destroy our children’s childhoods. These colossals bring on regret and frustration and fear like no other.

Yoda kicks the Hulk's ass any day

Other people take solace in never being able to achieve their goal, it’s a safe thing to have. It’s just a ready-made answer for the inevitable inquiry “What do you really want? What do you dream of doing?”. We are trained to think that the only way to true happiness is to attain something that we surely can’t.

These dreams are usually cries of “I need more attention!” or “I want all the things!” or “Why aren’t you doing everything I want you to!?”. They aren’t fantasies of doing anything – just fruits of some mystical labor. Default dreams are have some serious issues:

  • They’re crowded. Creativity is hard for people who are scared of it. So the standard dreams are the toughest chase and the most improbable to catch.
  • They often don’t sustain drive. If it doesn’t come from you then your drive to attain it is only as great as you belief in what they think you should do.
  • They’re too big. They should be big, they should be scary big. But not paralyzingly big or comfortingly big. If you aim too high you won’t shoot. Going smaller builds confidence so you can take those big shots later.

It’s better to, as Kevin Smith says, chase whimsies. In that way, you’ll understand where you’re at now. Each project or job or whatever isn’t a ‘step’ but a dream in itself. Sure, you may have that Master Dream that guides the whimsies, but it will be easier to stay satisfied on the way to your Thing.

A whimsy is essentially a micro dream that you can begin building now and see real progress. You know you can finish it but it’s going to be hard.

“I would write on the lintels of the doorpost, Whim. I hope it is somewhat better than whim at last, but we cannot spend the day in explanation.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Because you’re able to stay in the now – you can see whimsies forming before your eyes –  and not having to keep day dreaming about being in some magical perfect place in the future you are more able to see all the badassery taking place here and now. You notice that you’re building something that you like a lot. Maybe it looks like that dream you had, maybe not. Either way, it will be a more true representation of you and thus more fulfilling. Because you’re chasing whimsies you stop feeling like you’re chasing, grasping. Whimsies bring us the gift of constant forward motion – and that consistency snowballs quickly. When you have this massive ‘some day’ hanging over your head it’s hard to do anything but sit there paralyzed and maybe draw up the perfect plan. Maybe by the 100th draft you’ll say ‘fuck it’ and hold onto a whimsy.

A whimsy is the dream of Now. It respects life because it is honest action. Chasing whimsies means that we trust ourselves. We know that our soul is on course. We are heading where we need to and the urges we have will take us there. Denying ourself the fulfillment of these micro-dreams is denying our life.

I made what I consider a guide to Emerson’s Self-Reliance. It is by far the most important essay I’ve read. Every time I read it I am blown away by new insight. He’s a champ. I’ve made the guide I want to go back to to review this awesome essay, I hope you’ll benefit from it as well.

Self Reliance

 

 

If our young men miscarry in their first enterprises, they lose all heart. If the young merchant fails, men say he is ruined. If the finest genius studies at one of our colleges, and is not installed in an office within one year afterwards in the cities or suburbs of Boston or New York, it seems to his friends and to himself that he is right in being disheartened, and in complaining the rest of his life. A sturdy lad from New Hampshire or Vermont, who in turn tries all the professions, who teams itfarms itpeddles, keeps a school, preaches, edits a newspaper, goes to Congress, buys a township, and so forth, in successive years, and always, like a cat, falls on his feet, is worth a hundred of these city dolls. He walks abreast with his days, and feels no shame in not ‘studying a profession,’ for he does not postpone his life, but lives already. He has not one chance, but a hundred chances.

2012 is going to be nuts… but probably not as much as we think. It seems everyone has a prophecy for the end of that year. Of course the Mayan calendar ends, that’s spooky, right? Terrence McKenna said something about it too. I don’t know about any of that stuff really, but it’s kind of interesting and I heard Wikipedia is pretty hip with it.

I couldn’t think up any sweet supernatural things to predict. I’m not good at that stuff. My future-sense does not work like the magical lot. I’m just looking at shit around me and then making assumptions about what they’ll look like later. I’m sure to make an ass out of myself, but only you believing my batshit crazy ideas will make and ass out of you. Or won’t, because maybe there isn’t anything to even do about them. Either way:

WELCOME TO THE FUTURE.

…ad infinitum…

The future is copyrighted, and loves retro street signs

1. To start out strong, I’m going to use an idea that’s not mine. There will be the most ever Black Swan Events of all time. Papa Talib define’s his Black Swans in three simple steps.:

Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve been listening to Say Anything a lot recently. The music is magic. Apparently they’re not big fans of college either…


I can’t work
There’s too many wars over seas
There’s too much creative juice in me to focus in on that
So I’ll pace around, I’ll chat with your answering machine
As my thoughts drift into the unclean
I have to take a bath
You know, I know, they don’t know anything about you and me and all our kind 
Reasonless, meaningless superiority 
Slaughtered symphonies in our mind 
This college cattle call 
Ships off a hundred herds of young and wealthy work-horse mules
The teachers labeled all the dreamers fools 
“You’re not their fucking tool!” 
You and me can set them free together 
With one hand on each others,
And the other on our weaponry, Read the rest of this entry »

This spring break I’m going to be riding the Miami Startup Bus. The more I find out about the competition the more surprised I am they let a sucker like me in. From the site, “StartupBus is a national competition. 6 buses of strangers travelling 60 miles per hour have 48 hours to conceive, build, and launch a startup.” When I tell people about this they say, “wow! what a great networking opportunity!” which it is, but when I hear it I cringe a little.

The word “networking” just sounds dirty to me. I picture a bunch of people in a room figuring out ways to best exploit those they bump into. Any time I’m at an event like that it’s difficult to trust the sincerity of those I meet. There’s no human connection when you know people are BSing BSers.

My naive idea is that you should just make friends. Connect with people you like and respect. Recognizing their talents and helping people leverage them is just part of that friendship.

[Edit: Not sure if this was clear - I'm planning on leaving the StartupBus with lots of new friends.]

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